I found true freedom in faith
His decision to become a priest appeared at a time when the priests were being detained and persecuted. He wasn’t afraid and he embarked on the difficult path of spiritual life. What costs nothing, stands for nothing, says Pavol Dzivý, Salesian priest.
When did you first experience the problem with faith?
It was in elementary school. Teachers used to humiliate me before my classmates because I went to church. But back to these days I haven’t totally understood why. I knew that there was something or somebody who prevented us from going to church, but communism as such, I misread. 
You were never hiding that you believed in God.
Since childhood, parents led us to believe and for me it was perfectly natural to go to church, to pray. But later when we started goind to groups and spiritual retreat, we had to hide. Otherwise we would have had trouble with the secret police.
How could you get to the group, if it was secret?
I knew that there were groups of guys who went on trips. I had no such a group. But deep in my heart, I envied them. I felt alone. One day they came towards me and asked me if I wanted to go with them on a trip. It was a spiritual retreat, but I didn’t know it at the time. I agreed and I was pleased that I finally belonged somewhere.
Did you use to make a secret speech in your communication?
We had a couple of special vocabulary, which is today commonly used among the youth in the Salesian family but these words were incurred at that time. We also used to say abbreviations. But we did not talk much about our trip. We agreed and we went.
What did you do on these trips?
It was a great adventure. It was a whole process to meet with "uncle" at the station. He was a Salesian, "uncle" was the pseudonym. At the beginning, I was surprised that this was not an ordinary trip. It was something different. And that´s why it got me. I had had appreciated my life so far but at that moment I understood that I could live otherwise, better. I enjoyed those years, I was able to develop in other ways - the spiritual and human. "Uncle" came to us weekly. He was willing to come each week from Košice to Bardejov only because of us. We had meetings secretly in the apartments.
And what about your parents? Didn´t they worry when you were in a secret contact with a stranger?
They asked me where we used to go but we couldn´t say anything. My parents knew that what we were doing was a good thing. They knew people who we met secretly. They knew that we prayed, that we were meditating about God's word. But surely they were afraid. In particular, they were afraid that I could have entered to the sect.
Weren’t you afraid that there could have been a rat among you?
We later realized that such people also existed. Even in our group, there were boys who collaborated with the secret police (ŠtB). They were integrated into the groups and then they brought the information to the secret police.
Did you also have any problems with the secret police?
I did. Mostly after the compulsory military service. I worked as a driver in a bank, but in the meantime I joined the Salesian religious order in secret. Once a fink staged a car accident so that they could interrogate me. They threatened me. But if I was interrogated or not, I still had to be careful of what I told and with whom I met. It was quite obvious that I was followed, checked and that they tried to pull information from me and from my family.
Nevertheless, you decided to become a priest, why?
It certainly was not the revolt of the system. Rather, it was to discover a new way of life. I longed for true freedom and I found it in the spiritual life. My life seemed to be empty, unfulfilled. Also thanks to the formation of the Salesians, my decision to become a priest gradually formed in me. Thanks to Salesians I have grown as well as a man. As a believer I could not get to high school, Salesians used to lend us books, give us challenges. I was very entertained, I have done some clippings, I was writing about some interesting ideas of mine.
However, many priests were detained and tortured, weren’t you afraid?
On the contrary, they were our models, heroes. When one is young, he is rather a fighter. He has a desire to experience adventure. I had no fear for myself. I told myself that if I die for the faith, I would die for something valuable. Before I was afraid when the secret police threatened to attack my family. It was the psychological pressures that plagued a man.
Some students of theology had emigrated to Italy. Didn’t you have such intentions too?
I heard about it and some I have even met. They emigrated during the planned trip through Yugoslavia. I am not saying that when I was thinking about my future I haven´t thought about the possible emigration but actually I am pleased that I lived here. The system of formation of young priests is well invented. Despite all the problems I feel that it was fine.
How would you assess the period of totalitarianism with hindsight?
Totality gave me a strong experience of living directly among people, the opportunity to work with them in one factory, to see how they were living and surviving... To date, I benefited from this particular experience. I can understand the problems of workers in the factory because I worked so well.
Despite the suffering and persecution, the period of totalitarian rule has also produced some good things. People wanted to get closer to God. Today we have more freedom and we are willing to stand half-way in doing good. It seems to me as if we ever needed the whip of the past. It seems to me that our society has lost the little bit of adrenaline that used to drive us to do more of good things. This is a challenge for me as a priest, but also for the whole Salesian Family, we must use all opportunities and resources we have for the salvation of young people.
Viktória Kolčáková
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